


I won't say I am in Love..

by narikopathfinder



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Underage - Freeform, age gap, cultural stigma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-03 08:27:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8705041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narikopathfinder/pseuds/narikopathfinder
Summary: The allure of Eros, can affect none other than the young Agape..





	1. Chapter 1

The familiar scenery of Ice Castle was displayed on a computer screen. Light green eyes stared and studied inside his darkened room the emotional skating form of someone he had barely trained with for a month alongside Viktor. “That noisy Yuko…why did she send me this…” muttered a rather disgruntled Yuri Plisetsky, also shortened to Yuri among his fellow rink mates, but Yurio according to…his now more than familiar acquaintances in Japan.

A slender hand, went back to the beginning of the video. After the fourth and fifth view, Yurio kept watching the Eros short program. The intensity those dark brown eyes held, faint shivers quivered along the 15-year-olds body, Yurio’s green eyes widened. But soon his face could easily, match the darkest of red beet soups.

“Argh! Stupid Japanese piggy!” it was a quick shout of frustration as the blonde teen buried his head into the cat themed pillows on his bed. Green eyes glanced up at the computer screen just in time to see that final smirk, Yurio’s mind stilled as he felt his entire body go still. Curdling bursts of what felt like heated flames across his pale complexion, Yurio curled into himself and finally tore his gaze away from the screen. Green eyes closed, but that did not stop his psyche to pull forth. What Yurio had been able to see, at the Japanese onsen Yu-topia.

*The Japanese Yuri had gotten in shape so quickly. And while they had been meditating under the waterfall. Yurio had first thought of his grandfather, but one peek at the soaking wet yukata clinging to Yuri’s body, a faint flush erupted upon his cheeks. Quickly closing his eyes again, and not long after Yuri had taken his hand and suggested they get back to the onsen. Before either of them caught a cold, Yurio caught the sudden surprise flickering across Yuri’s features, and Yurio decided to keep quiet, it was not normal for boys and especially not with their age difference.

*To be holding hands in such a way, but Yurio felt somewhat safe, holding that hand...Yurio felt his cheeks heat up again as he sneezed, and all of a sudden.Yuri’s forehead was so close to his own “Well it seems that you haven’t gotten a fever, would not be fair if you caught a cold before our show off.” Yuri gave Yurio one of those gentle smiles, as they strolled back to the onsen. He was immediately ushered into one of the more secluded baths at Yu-topia, allowing Yurio to ponder this flickering heat that kept traveling up to his cheeks, but the same heat seemed to travel further south in an attempt to ignite. But Yurio quickly shook his head in denial. “I am not in Love...I am not in Love..”*

The warmth stayed long minutes playing a cautious game of igniting the embers that at times seemed to have gained a breath of air against his usual ^Russian Punk^ and ^Russian Fairy^ personalities. A faint knock on the door, tore Yurio out of his personal battle, as his eyes met the ones of his mother. “Mum you are back from work?”

The older woman smiled fondly at her own pair of green eyes at her son. As she replied “Yes Yuratchka, factory shift is over for today. But they will need me to stay later tomorrow” Yurio’s shoulders sagged with the weight of his responsibility. Even when most of his price money as a rookie and when he now had, a debut as a senior skater went straight to his mother’s account. Just moments ago he had allowed his thoughts to wander, away from skating. Which was what made Yurio’s and his mother’s lives a bit easier, the younger blonde walked over to his mother’s open arms.

Into a soothing hug as he muttered apologies against his mother’s coat. Vassilya Plisetsky was aware that her own boy felt pressured to continue skating simply because it gave them a more stable income. Vassilya had only seen some recorded clips, of her son’s progress courtesy of Yakov Feltsman. Even if the man looked gruff, he was a coach that cared for his students, she rubbed comforting circles around her fifteen years old’s back. But the next words that came out of her son she had not expected at all, so very vulnerable and insecure.

She held both her hands against Yurio’s cheeks his green eyes tethered to what Vassilya recognized as a new part of her son's life. Yurio’s lips quivered at that searching, yet warm gaze from his mother. “Mum, I know I need to support us both. But recently..I…I..do not know what is wrong with me, I can’t think properly, not even practicing my routine..”

Absently Vassilya swept away, moisture that had just barely begun, to collect alongside her son's green eyes. A fond smile at her own Yuri, as she said softly; “Could it be that Japanese skater you saw in that internet video?” Yurio’s cheeks flared in a cautious heat. His green eyes widened in utter horror, it was not normal…everyone else said so. Especially not normal liking someone of your gender, it did not matter how far away from Moscow they lived.

The traditional opinions of the people made such crude objections…”Yuratchka listen to me!” It was strange to hear his sweet mother raise her voice, but his internal fight temporarily stopped. “As long as you feel happy with yourself, I do not care about whom you may get feelings for in the future. The old fashioned views or not, things are very different outside Russia”

Yurio could only nod numbly, as his mother said he should try and relax a bit more before they ate dinner. Yurio let out a heavy sigh as he lay back down on his bed, he felt lighter. But he felt a tug at his heart strings, green eyes glanced to his left. His left hand stretched out, and clasped firmly within the sheets, Yurio’s choked whisper echoed in the fifteen-year-olds room. “Not fair, that you can’t be closer to me...I can’t say it…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature topics will occur during this chapter so prepare yourselves, a little bit more restraint.

_^A wet dream^_

_The bathroom stall rattled violently as the door was forced open. A sorrowful Yuri Katsuki glanced at those infuriating green eyes, the Russian punk yelled at him.”How dare you, make yourself such a moron infront of everyone at the grand prix! ”But Yuri could not discern what exactly. The blonde Russian, quivered into a deep sigh as his hands, slammed against the bathroom stall. Yuri Plisetsky trapped the older man against the stall. Those dark brown eyes widened in surprise, as the boy seemed to have no sense of personal space. Even with the close proximity, one of the top skaters in Japan._

_Now felt his body tease itself into a condition he rarely allowed to emerge. The ghosting breaths against the older skaters neck, his throat rising with hitched breaths. Green eyes seemed glazed, blonde hair tickled against rosy cheeks. “Pli…Plisetsky..” muttered the Japanese skater with surprise, yet he could not find it in himself to push the younger boy away. Those dark brown eyes, noticed he was not the only one with an erratic breath, black hair hid the small exchange being seen near the main door. Tilting his head down, to just try, what it felt like to meet heated._

_Soft lips met each other in uncertain territory. The younger Russian, did not appear hesitant. The older Japanese skater intensified the kiss, and was met with a quivering moan .Pale hands clutched against, the Japanese boys jacket, desperate for the curdling flames to be sated. Slithering his tongue inside the warmth of the young Russian’s mouth, tongues curling, into a slow eruption of moans, from both skaters.That seemed to consume his common sense. “Ka..tsu..ki..”the Russian boy quivered, a soft breath shared between them. Deep brown eyes met those of the hidden green fire that seemed to be begging for release…_

“Yurio!?”

Yuri Katsuki shouted into the empty room, as Yuri abruptly woke, sweat covered his body. His cheeks flushed with excitement, taking quivering hands through his hair. Brown eyes ended up searching for the Russian blonde skater, inside this hotel room in Moscow. Yuri shook his head, before relishing away from the heated covers, only for his eyes to widen at a stain that had embraced itself against the twenty three year old’s crotch.

No longer feeling the passionate warmth that had embraced him during the dream, brown eyes glanced over to the window overseeing the evening lights of Moscow. A soft smile on his lips, a nervous chuckle escaped Yuri’s mouth as he wondered when he had begun seeing the Russian punk in such a different light. “I have become too attached to the role of a seductress…my Eros is…different, since I saw him as Agape…” The black haired man shook his head again. His hands clutched nervously against the bed frame, it had been over six months.

 

Since Yurio Plisetsky had so very suddenly, left the Onsen on Ice show down, Yuri had heard it from Yuko. That Yurio seemed determined to manage without Viktor’s coaching, but Yuko was observant, and she dropped the suggestion that Yurio looked down cast and hurt. Yuri could not think of a reason why Yurio would have a wounded gaze about him within those green eyes. That had been so eager to challenge his own skating, had even taught Yuri the quad Salchow.

 

Yuri Katsuki did remember when he first entered that American college in Detroit, and what he had discovered about himself. But some part of Yuri could not find it in himself to even reach out and embrace it. The main reason for moving overseas had been to focus on his skating career after all.

Although Yuri had allowed himself to cautiously glance at a few of the other male skaters, he had competed against. But none had been able to catch his interest, neither was the Japanese skater eager for just a *quick one nightstand* as he had heard so many rumours about. He did remember seeing the junior skater, occasionally on tv.

 

Yuri’s thoughts trailed back to the dream, the only truth he could discern…was his shockingly beating heart. As the Russian punk had demanded he retire, it was such a bold statement. Certainly he had travelled back home to Japan after graduation, but to get his idol as a coach. Yuri had never expected that, nor to be able to learn more about Yurio.

^Memory..^

_Yurio stared blankly in confusion at the small stool, and the tiny shower cubicle, a wooden bucket to the side. Made the young Russian hesitate of what to do, Yuri caught the younger boys attention. “Ahem, this is sort of a Japanese bath house tradition. Since this is your first time in one I’ll show you how it is done.” Yuri explained rather professionally, as he took the sponge and asked Yurio to sit down on the small stool, grabbing soap rubbing it into the sponge._

_Soaking it in the bucket to the side, the wet sponge softly massaged against the blonde’s weary muscles. Relaxed sighs escaped his lips, completely unaware of the brown eyes searching over the fifteen year old’s body. Yuri began rubbing soothing circles along Yurio’s back, with the sponge, tendrils of water slithering down the Russian Fairy’s back. Yuri let the sponge drop to the floor, as his hands shook nervously. He needed control, it was not right to approach someone eight years his junior. Yuri took a deep breath, before he released the captured air._

_Voice gentle as he asked the blonde boy “I am going to pour this bucket of water, over you to rinse away the soap, Next is usually to wash your hair, I am sure you would…” but before Yuri could finish his sentence, he saw the same vulnerable gaze Yurio had shown at their waterfall meditation, lips quivering nervously._

_“Ca..n you do it..im not used to washing my hair like this…?” Even if part of the answer had launched itself into broken English, Yuri decided not to fluster the young Russian further. It was seemingly rare for Yurio to be showing this side of himself. Yuri’s hand lathered softly through the boys surprisingly thick blonde locks. Absently rubbing gently circles along the fifteen year olds hair strands…_

Shaking himself out of the memory, remembered how embarrassed Yurio had been. And frankly demanded to never speak of what had happened, from what Yuri had understood. Yurio wanted to be more independent... than most others his age.

Brown eyes cast down onto his phone, was that a mail from Yurio?- **I need to talk to you, before the short programmes start tomorrow. Meet me in the men’s bathroom, you better show up piggy!**

\- Yuri’s cheeks burned with curiosity, it had been such a short demand. His heart steadily increased its thumping with a rush of anticipation, before Yuri whispered quietly to himself “I won’t say..I am in love..”    


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright chapter 3 in place! I hope I will survive your judgement by the time you are done reading. Enjoy!

Blonde hair spread across the hotel pillow in disarray, a glaring light blinked upon a pale face. Green eyes stared at the mail that had been sent minutes ago, a quick breath escaped those pale lips.

“Why, did I request that!” “What am I supposed to tell that piggy…” a thumping heart rejuvenated with a dull ache. Green eyes glazed over miserably, tugging along the darker paths of a fifteen year old’s mind. Yuri Plisetsky was confused. 

He had never been this distressed over a simple e-mail. And here his hand was quivering nervously, while still trying to balance his phone between his fingers.

Eyes plastered on the words he had written. The phone slammed against the mattress, head burying itself within the hotel pillows. Body flipped onto its belly, before a rush of warmth kept its ember steadily along the Russian punk’s cheeks. Yuri’s thought’s slowly crept back to a few hours ago, inside the elevator of the hotel.

_ ^A few hours ago…^    _

_ Yuri Plisetsky was very much content with escaping, Viktor’s grasp, over his shoulders. He did not have time for this, nor those reporters. He would take advantage of them tomorrow after his short programme. But now his green eyes caught the glimpse of deep brown eyes, and short black hair, headed toward the second elevator to the left.  _

 

_ Yuri whirled swiftly toward that specific elevator, his leopard purple printed shoe. Preventing the double doors from separating the two Yuri’s, after six months apart from each other. Their eyes met, and Yuri Plisetsky masked his features. Out of habit, although a bit more gently he asked; “Where are you trying to run off to?”  _

 

_ Deep brown eyes widened in recognition, at meeting the softened gaze. Of the green eyes that had preyed upon, the Japanese skaters fantasies for over six months. A faint blush could be blamed on the distant chill, outside the hotel doors. But it was shyly prominent in a brief recollection of those fantasies. A gentle smile were given, as the blonde stepped into the elevator. _

_ “Ah Yurio, it has been a while.”  The two former rink mates, exchanged friendly banter until the digits of the elevator began blinking in rapid succession. The elevator shuddered, between the flickering lights suffered over tension spanned restraint.  _

 

_ The metal container heaved into a stomach dropping jump, Yurio’s body staggered uncertainly inside the elevator, Yuri’s brown eyes narrowed with worry. His left arm ensnared itself into the curve of Yurio’s waist, Yuri’s taller form covertly shielded the fifteen year old blonde Russian Tiger, against the elevator wall. “I cannot let you get injured, so close to the short programme.” The Japanese skater was able to express his concern, for the younger Russian skater. _

 

_ Shuddering tremors of the elevator, delayed Yuri’s balance. His head bumped against the soft ivory skin, his lips slithered upon Yurio’s neck. Earning a shocking exclamation, from the teen.The elevator music became even more prominent as familiar lyrics, entered Yurio’s ears. _

_ *Malchik gay...handsome...tender...soft...Why do you look right through me? No...I can’t deny my feelings...Growing strong..* _

_ His heart quivered against his chest, green eyes wide at the sensation of those lips against his neck. A firm blush crept upon his cheeks, as the words of the song filtered through his doubts, and conflicts within himself for the past six months.  _

 

_ Yurio’s eyes glanced up at those of the frozen brown eyes, he could see a more reddish hue. And then Yuri’s heated breath, stretched over the sensitive skin. Those Japanese ears twitch absently as the elevator music kept playing. *And every time I see you...I crave more… I wanna pull you closer… closer...closer...But you leave me feeling frozen...* _

_ His left arm secured closer to Yurio’s slim waist. Cheeks scalding red, Yuri knew that song, he had listened to it. While attending one of his college courses in Detroit, but now the lyrics haunted into his actions. _

_ But he had never been able to find out what ...Malchik...meant, though the word gay was something he had silently accepted years ago. Yuri gazed into Yurio’s surprised green eyes, the intake of breath from the younger teen. Had allowed Yuri’s own body to settle into subtle warmth, stretching out to each limb of his body. Yuri wondered absently, if he should take this chance.  _

 

_ Or possibly ruin the already fragile rivalry the two of them had established months ago. Yurio’s green eyes glossed, turning a darker shade. Yuri’s deep brown eyes, followed its spectre view landing upon the gently parted lips of the young Russian Tiger. Tilting his head further down to, allow his own mouth brush cautiously against Yurio’s. What Yuri had not expected was for Yurio to return the kiss.  _

 

_ The elevator shuddered, before it began moving toward its routine to the eighth and ninth floor of the hotel respectively. Katsuki Yuri, abruptly removed his support from Yurio against the elevator wall.  _

_ Yurio absently shuddered at the missing body warmth, his fingers trailing along his neck, and grazing up toward his lips.  _

_ “Malchik Yuri...” mumbled Yurio absently caught in a daze of wonder. Whirling his luggage out into the hallway of the ninth floor. Destined toward his hotel room.  _

**Next day: One hour until short programme, men’s bathroom.**

Katsuki Yuri, had been able to distract Viktor. From following him to the men’s bathroom, closing the door behind him as his brown eyes caught the colours of the russian flag. Printed upon a sports jacket. His eyes met those of familiar green, but those eyes appeared very much insecure now. Yuri stepped closer to the blonde as he heard a quiet murmur.

 

“You came...” The Japanese skater nodded as he replied gently. “Yurio...what you said in that e-mail. You are right, we do need to talk...after what happened yesterday in...” Yuri was not allowed to finish that sentence, as his own sports jacket was clutched against quivering hands, blonde hair hidden by the hood. 

 

As Yurio inclined his head, supported close to Yuri’s increasing heartbeat. ”Malchik Yuri...” muffled from resounding against the fabrics, and the Russian fairy’s breath soft. Yuri’s arms carefully embraced, the distraught blonde’s waist.

Yuri’s nose absently brushed against the younger teens forehead. Yurio’s eyes brimmed with moisture, he had no bloodied clue. As to how he could talk about something so tender, right before the short programme. It had been a spur of the moment, Yurio felt cold, against all the new experiences. 

Yet his mind had required some sort of balanced, support. The Japanese Yuri, had arrived at the right time, the hug felt secure. Yurio gave a faint nod, after that nose brushed against his forehead. 

“I think we should focus on our short, and free skate. Then after the free skate, we can talk?” 

 

Yurio quickly sniffed, and nodded more quickly. The two skaters, parted in silence. And returned to their respective coaches, tomorrow they could talk...about that incident...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this chapter is so late! But I do hope the three an half extra pages can compensate a little.  
> And I managed to finish this before the new year starts, so a very happy new year to all subscribers, commentators and those who so kindly have given kudos to this fanfic.

Yurio sighed as the warmth of the hug from that katsudon slowly kept its secure blanket over him. It was a strange comfort considering the circumstances. That lead to the sudden meeting in the men's bathroom as he muttered softly in Russian; "Ty budesh' moyey Yuri Katsuki.." Yurio had seen it twice that their…something was mutual to a degree. But those things he would think more of after the Free skate tomorrow.

The closer he came to his assigned changing room, his thoughts travelled back to what had happened in the elevator 's hand absently touched over the portion of his neck that had felt the supple lips grazing against sensitive skin. He quickly took the hood from his jacket and allowed it to cover, his features that slowly crept into shades of red.

Yurio's thoughts returned to the conversation he had with his grandfather Nikolai Plisetsky. Who had picked him up at the airport and took his good time to drive his only grandson to the designated hotel.

_***Memory*** _

_Nikolai glanced over at his only grandson before he refocused on his task of driving the car towards Moscow. "Yuratchka it sounds like you found more than one, new Japanese dish to like while staying in Japan."Yuri was about to take another bite from his pirozhki, he stopped in time as his grandfather's words echoed inside his mind. Cheeks flared red at the implications and green eyes widened. "How..could you know that grandfather!?"_

_Nikolai smiled knowingly at his grandson's troubled features. If the brief hint of red painting over those cheeks, were something to go by. Nikolai chuckled as he said; "You just confirmed it Yura. And you seem to forget I was young once too. When I think back to those days, I was around fifteen almost sixteen when I fell in love for the very first time. My Ilya… "_

_Yuri pursed his cheeks into a childish pout for being caught into his grandfather's tricks again. But he did not interrupt as he recognised his grandfather's storytelling mode. Yuri's ears perked up at that name..Ilya...That was not his grandmother's name and he made certain to notify grandfather of this;_

" _But dedushka? Ilya was not grandmother's name.It is a man's name.."_

_Nikolai abruptly stopped as his smile lost its happiness. Nikolai gave a cough to clear his lungs before he continued to tell this story that had been hidden for so long._

" _No that was not her name, but your grandmother was not my first love. H..he..was a talented figure skater. I first saw him skating on the Klyazma River one December afternoon in 1966." A very peculiar fondness entered the story telling mode of his had no idea, that his grandfather's first love had been a man. And they met through figure skating? Yuri found some uncanny similarities to his own growing fancy, towards a Japanese figure skater. His green eyes looked toward his grandfather's changing visage of old emotions._

" _Did you talk to him?" Asked Yuri as he tried to determine which question would be better to ask. Nikolai gave a sad smile before he replied; "Yes I joined him on the frozen river, I had a pair of old figure skates you see. I was not as talented as Illya, no when you saw him on the frozen river. He cast a spell for those who happened to watch him. And it was the most bewitching sight, His hair was fair and Illya's eyes mere mirror images of the moonlight meeting the fresh layer of frost on the ice."_

" _The frozen shores became our secret meeting spot after we had finished work. We could talk about anything, never did we fight."_

" _I denied with all I could, as my mind kept bringing up images of Ilya when we were not together.I was raised as Russian Orthodox and such feelings would not be approved of by the church."_

" _But on January 6_ _th_ _we were able to sneak away from the All Night Vigil in the church. Our families in the faith that we were sick, And unable to attend the service."_

" _Ilya and I had agreed to meet up near our normal spot. I had thought of several ways to tell Ilya how I felt, but he blurted it out as soon as he had me in an Ina Bauer curve and whispered it into my ear."_

_Yuri's green eyes blinked once, twice, and a third time. His grandfather had not only fallen in love with a male figure skater. But the confession had happened on the same ice they met on. He remembered seeing his grandfather at that age, together with a fair blonde man wrapping his arms around Nikolai's shoulders in an old photo album. And suddenly a cold chill entered his young heart. Now he could see the sadness filtering inside those older eyes. It was the same name of the man who had saved his grandfather's life in Moscow in 1968._

" _Ilya Vasilyev, he took your place from that gang of university students. When they cut off the tendons in his feet?" Nikolai gave a short nod, but his dark eyes were filled with regret. "They forced me to watch…just because I and Ilya were holding hands, they had to ruin his feet. That connected him to the ice, sacrificing his future career…for me..for us.." Yuri squeezed his grandfather's shoulder and muttered an apology; "ya..izvinyayus' dedushku" Green eyes lowered in shame he should not have asked so much, about it. But then Yuri had never seen the connection between those stories before now._

" _Yuratchka It is better I tell you this now. And know that if you have trouble with this, in the future and possibly developing feelings. I hope you will at least call me, you know I am not that connected to those laptop mail.."_

_Nikolai gave a sad smile as he stopped the car in front of the assigned hotel for the Rostlecom competitors. Looking at his grandson's worried expression Nikolai said; "The few years I had with Ilya were one of the best in my late teens. However, it ended brutally because the feelings we shared. Was not accepted by quite many people."_

" _I do not know what I am supposed to do, it is so new..and I do not know if it is love… But what so many in this country believes is unnatural. Why does it feel …right..when I think of him. " Yuri suddenly confessed his worries to his grandfather and hid behind his hands. Not even his mother could understand this, suddenly he felt the weight of a weary hand on his head, patting it softly over his hair as Yuri shyly glanced at his grandfather's encouraging smile. "But I cannot promise what I may do to that young man if he seduces, you to have sex with him before you have become 16." Came the blunt responses and Nikolai could not remember when his grandson had lastly become such a shade of scarlet. "Dedushka!?"Yuri exclaimed in protest and utter embarrassment, being in the car was not that comfortable anymore. So he quickly took off the seatbelt and gave his grandfather a hug. Before heading towards the main entrance of the hotel. A lighter tomorrow for when his grandfather would come to see his short programme tomorrow._

Yuri Katsuki felt a surprising tug around his wrist, Yuri could have sworn it felt like some kind of string tightening near his pulse. As he headed towards the assigned changing rooms. Deep brown eyes frowned and looked down at his left hand, but there was nothing visible. And then those peculiar words entered his mind.

*You will be…mine…Yuri…Katsuki..* Yuri's entire body couldn't help but shudder pleasantly, over the words repeating inside his mind. "Th..that voice…was. "Said Yuri in a gentle whisper hidden, with more familiar Japanese. But he shook his head, it was not the time to ponder these things now. Especially not when that voice sounded, so much like a green-eyed Russian blonde.

It was too quiet inside the changing rooms. The silver-haired Russian carefully took out a familiar costume from the bag. Laying down the black and metallic accented costume, from his senior debut as a figure skater. Upon the bench, the see through material shimmering absently from the warm light.

Footsteps shuffled towards the door as it opened up. And Viktor set his blue eyes on the frown covering Yuri's eyes, his skater had returned from the Men's bathroom. Viktor's greeting smile faded at the sight of that; *Yuri cannot possibly have gotten into a bad mindset from being in the bathroom?* Thought Viktor to himself. But before he could ask Yuri, the younger man said; "Viktor...what does mal'chik mean in Russian?" The silvery fringe of hair shielded Viktor's blue eyes from view. As he was startled by the sudden question.

"Ah…well mal'chik means boy…" Viktor replied calmly, but Yuri's changing accent of panic was truly unexpected. "What!? It means boy!" Café au lait coloured skin slowly flushed pink. As Yuri vividly recalled when a certain someone had called him that just yesterday. Yuri took a deep breath, before letting it out slowly. His brown eyes caught the puzzled look coming from Viktor.

As the usual carefree Russian decided to ask. "Where did you hear that Yuuuriii?" Viktor drew out in a close whine, clearly expecting an answer. "It is from a song called Malchik Gay.." Viktor's blue eyes widened in recognition; "I know that song!? But where did you hear it?" Yuri's deep brown eyes suddenly found the tiles of the changing rooms awfully interesting. While avoiding Viktor's curious gaze. "Yuuriii…where did you hear that song? Why does it make you so red?" Viktor observed the range of filters covering and masking themselves, while Yuri troubled as he was.

Allowed his thoughts to wander as the lyrics of that song _; clicked itself on repeat while the form of soft lips covering his own. Gently pressing in for a second kiss inside the elevator while Malchik Gay played, teasing both of them in the background._ Yuri felt the familiar plunge slowly drag him further inside his mind, trying to recollect what had happened yesterday. Because it had not been a dream. Short gasping breaths escaped his mouth, as Viktor jumped back in surprise.

Meeting the worrying gaze Viktor kept sending him, Yuri was very much assured that his cheeks must be firmly red by now and he replied; "Ah it was playing in the elevator yesterday when the elevator stopped for awhile. The song continued to play, before that I had not heard it since my second year in college." Viktor listened to Yuri, but there was something his figureskater left out of that explanation. Viktor took a gloved hand and brushed away his bangs. The blue-eyed Russian had his suspicions. And Viktor Nikiforov also knew that Yurio had joined in the same elevator as Yuri. _*Something must have happened in the few minutes the elevator malfunctioned. But what did happen between them..*_ These thoughts syphoned themselves quickly and steadily, blue eyes caught the arms of the clock and ten more minutes and they had to be on the ice.

"Yuri! We need to get you changed and fix your hair! And you will need some lip balm…!" Yuri observed with some concern when it looked like his coach was about to ask more about the elevator yesterday. Luckily time was getting closer to when he would perform his short program. _*Our secret is safe for now…*_ Thought Yuri as he busied himself with changing out of his comfortable track suit and into the androgynous figureskating costume. That represented his Eros…

A slender pale hand clasped at the wooden handle of a comb. Sinking its teeth gently through, growing strands of blonde hair. Natural boar and horse hair comb. That one had been Lilia's idea, she insisted it would make him look more beautiful when using a comb with natural hairs. Yurio had never really thought much about these details before he allowed himself to become broken and remoulded into a prima ballerina. A melody and boy like soprano plugged into Yurio's ears. He was caught in a rhythmic trance-like state listening to those words…

… _Because my life is temporary_

_It desires the eternal love…_

Minty green eyes glanced into the mirror, a smirk and hollow laugh escaped his lips. Yurio's heart ached, he never should have tried to translate the latin text into Russian. *Is this what it is love…? No…not possible it is just my hormones…it has to be..* he thought desperately. The wooden comb clacked against the small, frustrated with himself.

Yurio quickly rubbed away the moisture gathering at his eyes.

… _I will believe, I will give_

… _I will wait_

*How can I believe in something…that makes me…* Leaning against the cool stone laid along the counter space holding up the large mirror. Minty green eyes firmly shut, a light sniffle and Yurio were caught in his own thoughts. *Grandfather…said it was alright…Mother says it is alright…* *Yuri…he..hugged me…today and yesterday he protected me. Why?* *I am different…* A strange pull around his wrist allowed Yurio to temporarily stop his internal battle. Light green eyes looking at the wrist, the skin appeared normal at first glance but then. Some of it bulge out as if a string was wrought around his pale skin. Yurio's features frowned as he whispered under his breath; "Ni..figa sebe!" a shimmering red coloured string teased around his wrist before. Yurio had to check if he was just seeing things, it was so unlike him to be this out of it before a competition. Lillia narrowed her own eyes at her student's exclamation, it was unlike him but all she could say to her Prima Ballerina was; "A ballerina should not say something so inelegant."

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic, is an idea that entered my head while chatting with fellow Yuri on Ice fans. The bustling suggestions is helped inspire the creation of this...and also a bit of disney magic. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing I won't say I am in Love


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